Panda Kaal Muhurtham
The families of the bride and the groom pray to the Lord for an uninterrupted wedding ceremony. Usually, this small ritual is performed one day before the wedding. The family of the bride and the groom pray to the deity who is symbolically represented by a bamboo pole. The pole is placed outside the bride's house amidst the chant of vedic mantras. This ceremony symbolizes the commencement of the wedding.
Mappilai Varavettral
When the groom and his family arrive at the wedding hall a day before the wedding, they are welcomed with a tray containing offerings of flowers, paan supari, fruits and mishri. Rose water is sprinkled on the groom. The bride's brother applies a tilak (dot or line) of sandalwood paste and kumkum on his forehead and garlands him. The bride's mother offers the groom's parents offer a sweet dish prepared from condensed milk. A senior female member of the bride's family performs aarti (a small ritual conducted as a mark of reverence) and welcomes them. It is also customary to break a coconut to the ground as this is believed to help ward off evil spirits.
Vratham
Vratham or fasting is performed separately by the bride and the groom.
For the bride, it means the tying of the kappu, the holy thread on her wrists, which is meant to ward off all evil sprits. It symbolizes a protective armor for the bride.
For the groom Vratham begins with invocations involving the Gods Indra, Soma, Chandra and Agni. From thereon the groom prepares himself for a new chapter in his life as a householder or Grihastashramam. The days of his bachelorhood or Brahmachariyam are over now. The acceptance of Grihastam or family responsibilities is what Vartham is all about.
Pallikai Thellichal
The family of the bride begins this ceremony a day before the wedding. Clay pots are filled with grains.
Married women from both the sides sprinkle water on the pots filled with nine varieties of grain. During this ceremony, the others present sing traditional songs to the accompaniment of music.
On the day after the wedding, when the grains sprout, these pots are immersed in a pond so that the fish in the pond may feed on the grains and bless the newly-weds abundantly.
Jaana Vaasam
The evening prior to the wedding day, the bridegroom is brought in a procession from a temple in a flower-decorated vehicle.
In the olden days the groom was usually seated on an elephant or a horse drawn Chariot.
The groom is escorted by a large and joyous procession of family and friends. Professional musicians accompany the procession and play traditional wedding music. Sometimes there are also fireworks to celebrate the occasion. The bride’s parents and relatives welcome the groom at the marriage mandap. The girl's brother garlands the groom to the accompaniment of traditional music.
This is a social function called ‘Janna Vaasam’ in south India. Through such a parade, public approval is sought of the groom, chosen by the family.
Nicchiyadharatham
This is the traditional engagement ceremony. The bride’s father and the bridegroom’s sit father facing each other and solemnise the final betrothal ceremony. The vedic priest chants the relevant hymns-in which the names of the bride, the bridegroom, as well as the names of their three generations of ancestors, are cited in presence of friends, relatives, and invitees.
The manthras say : "O God Varuna, Be she harmless to my brothers and sisters! Oh Brihaspathi! May she no evil to her husband! O Lord Indra! Bless her to be a good guardian of her children! O Surya! Bless her with all wealths! "
The groom's family gives the bride a new sari. She wears it with the assistance of her sister-in-law. A tilak of chandan and kumkum is applied on her forehead, while the pallav (part of the sari near the border) of her sari is filled with fruits, paan-supari, turmeric, kumkum and coconut. A garland of flowers is tied around her waist. Aarthi is also performed for her.
Lagna Pathirigai Paditthal
The priest formally reads out the wedding invitation. Details on 3 generations of the lineage of the boy and the girl and other information on the muhurtam and venue is announced. This is followed by an elaborate dinner.
Mangala Snaanam
During Mangala Snaanam, the bride and the groom bathe in order to purify themselves. Oil and turmeric are applied to the body of the bride and the groom before they are allowed to take a bath.
Ganapathy Pooja
In this pooja, Ganapati the God of Initiation is invoked, to keep away all impediments.
Navagraha Pooja
This is performed to propitiate the nine astral planets that rule over man’s destiny.
Kasi Yatra
Immediately after his student-life, the young bachelor has two alternatives before him – Married life (Grihasta) or asceticism (Sanyas). Being by nature escapist, he prefers the ascetic life to the tribulations of married life. He therefore ‘makes his way’ to kasi (VARANASI), complete with slippers, umbrella, bamboo fan etc. On his way, the bride’s father intervenes and advises him of the superiority of married life to ascetic life. He also promises to give him his daughter as companion to face the challenge of life.
Other aspects pertaining to this tradition include:
During the wedding ceremony the groom is welcomed as Mahavishnu Svarupaya varahaya or maha vishnu himself (or the Siva the equivalent in the Adi Saiva tradition) and the bride as Lakshmi. Hence, it is imperative that he knows no sin. Hence, he needs to perform a yatra to kashi , submerge in Ganges and to the wedding purified.
In the days of yore, when a man after education takes a yatra like this (it takes up some months, sometimes a year on foot), he gets to see the world, otherwise which he would not have been exposed to, hence from Brahmacharya , before moving to grahasta ashrama he come experienced and purified, disiplined, goal oriented and fit to take up the challenges of married life. The groom would have been engaged before he proceeds on this yatra and is welcomed back after the father in-law after coming back, with this words Maha Vishnu Svarupaya, and given the kanya dhana (Giving away the Bride).
Maalai Mattral
The bride and the groom are lifted to the shoulders of their respective maternal uncles and in that position the two garland each other thrice for a complete union. A garland worn by a person, should not be used by another, ordain our shastras. Here the exchange of garlands symbolizes their unification – as one soul in two bodies. It is in inward acceptance by each of the very fragrance of the other.
Oonjal
The couple is seated on a swing decorated with flowers (Oonjal). They swing back and forth, as the ladies around sing – Laali (songs in praise of the couple). The chains of the swing signify the eternal Karmic link with Almighty above. The to-and-fro motion represents the undulating sea-waves of life; yet, in mind and body they shall move in harmony unperturbed, steady and stable.
The couple are offered milk and bananas. Married woman from both the bride and grooms family use colored rice balls to wad off the evil eye form the couple.
Vara Puja
The feet of the bridegroom are washed in milk and wiped off with silk. This is done by the bride’s father.
Kanya Danam
The bride is made to sit on her father’s lap and is given away as a gift by him to the bridegroom.
On the bride’s head, a ring made of Darbha of Kusa grass is placed. And over it is placed a yoke. The gold Mangal Sutra or Thali is placed on the aperture of the yoke. And water is poured though the aperture. The mantras chanted at this time say:
“Let this gold multiply your wealth, Let this water purify your married life, And may your prosperity increase. Offer yourself to your husband.”
The symbolism of the yoke is drawn out of ancient rural life where the only mode of transport for households was the bullock cart. It is supposed to signify that just as a bullock cart cannot run with just one bull, the marriage needs both the bride and groom. Both of them have to face their responsibilities together.
The bride is then given an auspicious ablution. A new sari, exclusive for the occasion, called the koorai is chosen. The colour of the koorai is ‘arraku’ i.e. red, the colour associated with Shakti. This sari is draped around the bride by the sister of the bridegroom, signifying her welcome to the bride. A belt made of reed grass is then tied around the bride’s waist. The mantras then chant:
"She standeth here, pure before the holy fire. As one blessed with boons of a good mind, a healthy body, life-long companionship of her husband (Sumangali Bhagyam) and children with long lives. She standeth as one who is avowed to stand by her husband virtuously. Be she tied with this reed grass rope to the sacrament of marriage."
Thanksgiving vedic hymns follow, to the celestial caretakers of her childhood, the dieties of Soma, Gandharva and Agni. Having attained nubility, the girl is now free to be given over to the care of the human -- her man.
The vedic concept underlying this ritual is figuratively that in her infancy Soma givers her the coolness of the moon. In the next stage of life the Gandharvas gave her playfulness and beauty. And when she becomes a maiden Agni gave her passions.
The father of the bride while offering his daughter chants:
“I offer ye my daughter: A maiden virtuous, good natured, very wise, decked with ornaments to the best of my abilities. With all that she shall guard thy Dharma, Wealth and Love”
The bridegroom returns his assurance to the bride’s father saying three times that he shall remain for ever her companion in joy and sorrow, in this life and life after.
Mangalya Dharanam
The tying of the Mangal Sutra or Thali takes place at exactly the pre-determined auspicious hour. The bride is on her father's looking eastward while the bridegroom faces westward. The bridegroom puts the Mangal Sutra around the neck of the bride. As he does so the Nadaswaram is played loud and fast so as to muffle any inauspicious sounds at the critical hour. This is called Getti Melam.
Sumangali ladies sing auspicious songs. At the same time as the mangal sutra a turmeric thread is also put around the bride’s neck. To this three knots are tied. The first one by the bridegroom. The other two knots are tied by the groom’s sister to make the bride a part of their family. The vedic hymn recited by the bridegroom when he ties the knot is:
"I pray to the Almighty that I be blessed with a long life. I tie this knot around your neck. Oh Soubhagyawati, may providence bestow on you a fulfilling life of a Sumangali for a hundred years to come!"
Paani Grahanam
This means holding hands. The groom holds the right hand of the bride. The mantras invoke Agni-the lordof fire, Saraswati-the goddess of knowledge, and Vayu-the lord of air for blessing and the bridegroom says:
"The Devas have offered you to me in order that I may live the life of a Grihasta. We shall not part from each other even when we grow old."
Saptha Padhi
Holding the bride’s hand the bridegroom walks seven steps around the holy fire with her. This is the most important part of the marriage ceremony. And only when they walk these seven steps together (i.e. perform the saptha padhi) is the marriage complete. With each step they take a vow. The belief is that when one walks seven steps with another, one becomes the other’s friend. The mantras said at this time mean:
We take the first step to provide for a happy and healthy home.
We take the second step to develop physical, mental and spritual powers.
We take the third step to increase our wealth by diligence and righteousness.
We take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness, and harmony by mutual love and trust.
We take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and loving children
We take the sixth step to promise to care for each other for a long life together.
Finally, we take the seventh step to be true companions and remain partners by this marriage.
Pradhana Homam
A crucial part of the wedding is the homage paid by the couple to Agni, the God of Fire. They couple goes around the fire, and feed it with ghee and twigs of nine types of holy trees as sacrificial fuel. The fumes that arise possess medicinal, curative and cleansing effects on the bodies of the couple. Agni, the mightiest power in the cosmos, the sacred purifier, the all-round benefactor is deemed as a witness to the sacred marriage. Hence the term ‘Agni Saakshi’ or witness by fire.
Ammi Midiththal
This ritual involves treading the grindstone. The groom holds the Big toe of the bride and helps her to tread on a grindstone kept on the right side of a fire. The mantras chanted say:
“Mount on this stone, and let thy mind be rock firm, unperturbed by the trials and tribulations of life.”
This ritual is symbolic of the solid rock foundation for the union.
Toe rings or metti - a symbol of marriage also placed on the bride's toes during this ceremeony.
Arundhati Paarthal
The groom shows the bride the star Arundhati (from the Saptha Rishi or Great Bear constellation) as also Dhruva or the pole star. Arundhati is the wife of the Vashishta Maharishi and exemplified as the ideal wife - the embodiment of charity.
Dhruva is the one who attained immortality through single-minded devotion and perseverance.
This is symbolic of the fact that such virtues are to be emulated throughout marital life.
Laaja Homam
This comprises the bride’s own offering into the sacrificial fire. As an expression of sibling support to her marriage her brother helps her. He gives her a handful of puffed rice grains which she hands to the bridegroom, who on her behalf, feeds it to the fire. Through this food offering, the bride seeks a long life for her husband and for propagation of her family.
Participation of the bride’s brother indicates the continuance of links between the two families even after marriage. The couple circles the fire three times. The feeding of puffed rice to the fire is also repeated thrice.
Graha Pravesham
Taking with her fire from the Laaja Homam, the bride takes leave of her home and enters the new home of her in-laws. The vedic hymns recited at this time sound like the mother’s advice to her daughter:
"Be the queen of your husband’s home. May your husband glorify your virtues! Conduct yourself in such a way that you win your mother-in-law’s love. And be in the good books of your sister-in-law."
Nalangu
The evening of the marriage day is the time to relax and play. The newly wed wife calls her husband for play, inviting him through a song. Much to the merriment of all gathered, there follows a series of playful games. The bride anointing the groom’s feet with colour paste, fanning him, showing him a mirror, breaking papads over each other’s head. Wrenching the betel pack from each other’s hands. Rolling the coconut from one to another as in playing ball and so on. During these events women sing songs, making fun of the bride, the groom and the in-laws.
These events bring out the qualities of the bride and the groom’s sporting spirit, kindness, co-operative nature thus surfacing the hidden traits for the other to note, thus bringing about better understanding and compatibility.
Evening Homams
THE JAYAATHI HOMAM – is performed to propitiate the Gandharvas and deities. Gandharvas are the soft natured celestial beings generally associated with the finer sentiments of life, that are necessary for a fulfilling married life.
PRAVESA HOMAM – is done to solemnise the bride’s entry in to the husband’s home. The sacrificial fire is brought along by the bride.New lives would be brought forth into this world; same as the fact that fire brings forth new fires.
SESHA HOMAM – is Fire oblation with the residual ghee, a little of which is sprinkled on the bride’s head four times. ‘Sesha’ means leftover. The leftover ghee is considered sacred, the whole of which was offered to Agni. The idea of sprinkling this residual ghee on the bride’s head signifies strength to be drawn from the four vedas; which is left over from one yuga or era to another.
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